“Hey”

“How’s your week going?”

“How’s your weekend?”

“How was last weekend?”

Generic openers are reason enough to make you throw your phone across the room. But before you cash in on Apple Care, let’s talk.

Opening a conversation with a complete stranger is a bewildering task even for the extreme extrovert. First, your potential suitor only knows a little bit about you, so it’s hard to know what to say. Second, without knowing if you are going to reply, putting effort into the text might be a waste of time.

So to start, take a deep breath, and try to give the lazy author a little slack.

With a little creativity and planning, messaging can be less of a pain in the @ss and more of a valuable and time-saving tool. When used in an intentional manner, the information gleaned from a text exchange can give you reason enough to either say “no thanks,” or get excited for a really promising first date.

If the profile in front of you sparks a little curiosity, take a closer look at the photos and text. This information provides insight about lifestyle, interests, what is important to that person, and in some cases, what their abs look like... Giving the profile a closer look can provide an entry point for a meaningful conversation starter, and offer an easy way to learn more about the person.

Take a minute to construct a response that sets the tone. Put a little effort into your reply, and share something about yourself before responding with a more detailed question about them.

Consider this response: “Hi! I had a great weekend - checked out some hiking upstate - it was awesome. Did you have a good weekend? I love your skiing pic, where did you go?”

This response is effective for a few reasons.

• First, it’s warm, open, and lets the other person know you’re interested in chatting.
• Second, by sharing about yourself - you like hiking and use your free time to visit new places- you are inviting them to share more personal information as well, and you are creating an opportunity for connection around commonalities.
• Third, as you are drawing on something that is important to them, it demonstrates that you’ve read their profile, and you are making an effort to create rapport and move the conversation along.

Finally, it allows you to screen the match further. If they hate hiking, or are unable to remember where they skied because it was so long ago, you may decide that your interests/lifestyle are not aligned and that this is not the person for you.

Instead of viewing the dating apps as a necessary evil, think of them as a great, time-saving tool to help you on your way to a good or even great first date!

At a good first date, we help clients with all aspects of tech dating, from creating the profile to swiping and communicating.

To learn more, click here.