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Mar 09, 2020

Love in the Time of Corona

Ask not what your partner can do for you, but what you can do for your partner

Ah - there's nothing like waking up to a financial crisis. A health crisis. Uncertainty about jobs, small businesses. Kinda makes the whole dating thing feel irrelevant. For now.

It's in times like these, however, when the right partner can make all the difference. So often in dating, we look for the superficial - whether that's how a person looks, how much money they make or if they were Ivy. And then fast forward to a day like today.

Instead of asking what kind of partner you need. I want you to consider what you have to offer. Who are you in a crisis?

A close friend of mine anticipated the panic and slowly started to accumulate household products. Once her husband got on board, he went full force. Her style is to move gradually. His is all or nothing. It works because they complement each other.

Personally, I'm a contrarian. I made financial moves to protect myself. I didn't however, make any household item purchases. It was a blind spot. Details, details. I'm more of a 20,000 foot person. I would offer the right direction to somebody who could get on Amazon and start ordering. So an ideal partner for me might be more detail oriented.

These are difficult times and as we reach peak uncertainty, there's no telling what could happen. The draconian restrictions placed on the general population by both China and Italy could very easily be replicated in cities across America. And why shouldn't they be?

All of this chaos may make dating the last thing on your mind. And that makes sense, too. Sometimes it's about consolidating your priorities and right now taking care of those close to you (not to mention yourself) is what's important.

As we also face financial uncertainty, especially those who work as freelancers in the service economy, it's also to consider the way you see money and job security. Are you compatible? What is a reasonable emergency fund? If you're considering marriage, a crisis is probably too late to discuss these issues.

A crisis will give you the excuse to raise these uncomfortable discussions. So consider this your time.

Tomorrow will bring more news, hopefully action from the federal government to allay our fears. Or information to confirm a mortality rate. Testing kits. Until then, let's be kind to each other and take care of those we love.