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Jul 20, 2020

Writing the "Perfect" Dating Profile

If you're finding writing profiles hard / awkward /annoying then you're not alone.

Think about it, it is the world's weirdest writing project. Even stranger than Facebook or even Instagram. Here you are, trying to combine social with LinkedIn with an advertisement for LOVE. The stakes are both high and extremely low. Here are a few key concepts.

Concept 1: there is no such thing as a perfect profile

Before I show you some great profiles, I want to stress one thing: a great profile is the one that attracts the person you're trying to meet. Sometimes even a blank space can do this. Zero text is better than offensive text - especially if it offends a person you're trying to attract.

Concept 2: attract the person you want, at the exclusion of others

Also, don't worry about excluding parts of your audience! If being online feels like a full-time job, it's likely that you are fielding too many enquiries. If you absolutely need a concert partner then stress your love for live music. Or if you love debating politics, then put that in there too. 

Concept 3: the profile is a springboard to a conversation

Think about the last great text conversation you had, be it with a friend or hopefully on the dating app. What was it about? In other words, what are you passionate about and what do you find easy to talk about? Start with that because the conversation will flow much better. I'll give you some examples below.

Okay are you ready to get started? Let's go!

The One-Liner

Simple phrases - these one liners will spark conversation but are short on detail. If you have this ballsy profile type, then supplement with good pictures. You'll attract witty, not taking this too seriously, people. Doesn't mean they don't want an LTR. But they'll appreciate the word play.

Just one question: Federer or Nadal? This simple phrase will spark a fun debate and attract somebody who loves tennis either as a fan or a player. Opening: ooo tough question but definitely Nadal. I saw him at the last US Open final, epic match. Do you like both watching and playing?

I wake up before my alarm. Confident, a get up and go person. Morning person. Active. Not a beach bum. Opening: I've always wanted to meet the human snooze button. What do you like to do first thing in the morning?

Tech guy seeking somebody creative to balance things out. Subtly states profession, funny, specific about the person they seek. Opening: does doodling during class count as creative? 

I try to fix stuff myself before calling the super. Sense of humor. Not handy, self deprecating, lives in a building with a superOpening line: are we talking light bulb or plumbing? I respect the nice try.

I'll trade you my lasagne recipe for your Spotify playlist. Likes to cook, playful, curious about what you listen to. Easy to start a conversation. Opening line: You go first, that way I'll get the recipe before I give you my tired playlist (unless you still like Taylor Swift - don't judge).

Longer Form

Longer Descriptions - these profiles will attract users who want more information. Whether it's to confirm common interests, goals or just feel better knowing that the other person has put more thought into what they've written. 

New to NYC (from London / San Francisco). Love a great rooftop bar, new restaurants, hiking upstate and spending time with my four brothers (big family!). Seeking somebody great who is active and ready to explore all that the city has to offer. Friendly, adventurous and has some international experience. Family guy who can do urban and also appreciates nature. Could be relationship focused but definitely wants to like the person they're with. Opening line: love that you hike, have you found any good trails yet? How do you like living in NYC?

Avid runner. Newspapers (the paper kind), NYT crossword puzzles and wandering the city. Lover of live music, indie especially, summer outdoor concerts. Weekend house in the Berkshires. Learning to meditate. Looking for an LTR. Lots of interests and "hooks" ways to start a conversation. This profile gives you an idea of how you might spend time together as a couple. They are spiritual and seeking a LTR. Opening line: I'm pretty good at crossword puzzles but more of a Sudoku person myself. Any good concerts planned? I heard they have drive-inconcerts now. They don't look so bad!

Seeking a LTR with somebody who wants the same. Loves travel, cooking, sometimes Netflix and new restaurants. Passionate about my career in art. Just starting kickboxing. Don't worry, I won't practice on you. Fairly generic, but sometimes generic is good. By putting LTR front and center you are attracting somebody who is serious about finding a partner. But you are excluding people who might feel pressured right off the bat. Add something specific to start a conversation. Opening line: How are you liking kickboxing so far? I've been looking for a new hobby - need something more exciting than yoga. 

Well, I hope that was helpful! Bottom line: your profile should represent you! Don't worry if it isn't the most exciting thing. The most important is that it starts a good conversation and oh one thing do check spelling, grammar and punctuation

If you'd like help with your profile, get in touch! That's what I do. Your first consult is free and fun too.