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Mar 06, 2020

Which dating app should you use?

Dating Apps

As a dating coach, this is probably my most frequently asked question. If you're in a hurry and don't want to read this blog, then I'll cut to the chase. I put almost all clients on Bumble and Hinge. If they're over 40 and/or prefer a longer form web-based platform then I also use Match. Tinder and Coffee Meets Bagel if they can handle a lot of incoming.

The number of apps to use is really about what you can tolerate. We want to avoid burnout. This could take a long time.

Back in the early days of online dating, selecting the platform was easy. When I started dating back in 2009, Match.com was the only mainstream choice that I knew of. Fast forward 11 years and now the number of options is truly overwhelming. There are as many subcategories as there are hashtags: farmers, divorcees, people over 50, those in the fitness industry and let’s not forget the apps dedicated to hookups and infidelity.

To make things more complicated, each app has its own interface. Match, for example, is primarily web based. The profiles are presented long-form, meaning users can download tens of pictures and write thousands of words. Then there’s its polar opposite, Tinder, which allows for a minimum of one picture and a maximum of 500 characters in the bio.  Some apps present profiles as cards and other apps present them in a grid format and so on.

The choices are endless. So where to begin?

First and foremost it’s important to remember that every app is a hook up app and every app is a relationship app. It truly depends on how you use it. What you want to avoid is an app that claims to have an “elite” selection and then charges on top of that. Why? Because for normal users, there aren’t enough matches to choose from.

I want my clients to have choice and for that reason I only work with the most established apps, namely: Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and for certain clients, Match.

When choosing between those four apps, first think about how much information you like to sift through in order to start a conversation. Some people really enjoy reading long profiles. Writing style means a lot to them. Others can’t be bothered to go through all of the details and prefer to rely on pictures as a first pass. 

For people who like a longer form profile, they should use Match.com. For those who prefer a phone based short form profile, then Bumble, Tinder and/or Hinge.

For clients over 50, I usually keep Match as an option even if they prefer the short form, phone based apps. Perhaps because it is more established and/or older people prefer a web based platform, there are definitely proportionally more users in that demographic than the others.

Beyond those two factors, it really depends on the client’s experience. Sometimes they will have familiarity with one of the apps and prefer to start there. Usually we start with one and when they get the hang of it we will add more.

For more specific recommendations, get in touch!